Me: “Judah, would you like to pray and ask God to use your tithe to help other people?”
Me: “Why not?”
Judah: “I’m not good at praying… because… I don’t pray.”
There it is. He doesn’t want to pray because he doesn’t perceive himself to be good at prayer because he doesn’t pray. I can’t fault the logic. How true is this of me and just about everyone else? Sure, prayer’s an easy target. Not many of us pray much if at all so we’re not good at it, and as a result we don’t like to do it. I just don’t know if I would have been able to put it so aptly in so little words.
But this is so true of life. I don’t want to ________ because I’m not good at it, and I’m not good at it because I don’t do it. Fill in the blank: exercise, run a marathon, build something, talk to my wife, handle my finances, hold any kind of difficult conversation, and of course pray. I admire people who can do any of these things, let alone those who do them well. I certainly don’t like to them because I’m terrible at all of them, and that is 100% because I don’t do them.
Doing things I don’t do well, especially when the stakes are higher than I’d like, just plain sucks. I hate it. I hate failing or not doing well. Well, to be a little too honest, I hate the feeling that I will be rejected as a result of my failure. And, so, well, I just don’t do them. Can you relate at all? I hope not, but I fear many can. So, I need God in a big way, but haven’t been in contact much to have that connection. Money not managed, well, I think we all know what happens there. And it doesn’t take much imagination to figure out the state of a marriage in which the husband isn’t communicating with his wife.
So, I’m praying. I figure I’d start with the One most likely to understand and welcome me back. Plus, I need a pretty strong Ally in my corner to help me with the other neglected parts of my life.
Hopefully, what you aren’t doing isn’t as serious as this, but I think we can all relate to feeling like we can’t do something we should do on the basis of just not doing it.